>>62946
I know how you feel, for some reason I don't despise her either. Maybe it's cope but I kind of feel sorry for her but she also isn't an abused little girl anymore so her actions are unforgivable personally, not that is really means anything. I remember her telling me after the break up she would never forgive me but didn't say what specifically, maybe it was for calling her a waste of intimacy, something she acted all shocked for and then said it back to me. I don't know if it was projection or her being cruel but I still do feel bad for her in a way, occasionally she does something that reminds me why I do hate her and it's really hard if not illogical to separate her actions from herself since we are what we do but this is just semantics at this point. She was nice and seemed genuine at times which I can't forget, along with every other moment. One of the reasons she said she broke up with me was because I didn't make her feel special even though she agreed with me in the next breath that no one is really special. When I would ask why she broke up with me later she said I should know, this and many other cruel moments make me lose sympathy for her, especially after finding out how long she's been doing this. Audrey, I know you said therepy wouldn't help and you didn't need it but there is this method which is basically shock therepy that mortifies you into reality, it's just an option and only helps you, you won't be doing it for any of us. You're still an asshole for getting as close as you could just so you could hurt me as much as you did. I wish we never met and nothing useful really came out of the year I spent over you. I'm being a fag now but get on pills or something at least, I'm sorry any of this happened but I also don't really feel bad or regret it. I hate being reminded of you but I don't feel good from you suffering